JOURNAL ENTRY FROM 4 MONTHS I LIVED IN PARIS
(unaltered transcription from 5/11/04, 9pm)

It's amazing how light it stays in Paris in the spring. I know this phenomenon happens all over the world, but J and I found out it stays light until about 11pm in the heart of summer. Crazy French fuckers.

I finally started a new journal. I was waiting for something to necessitate committing my thoughts to paper. It's happened. Well, LOTS has happened to our intrepid wanderer, as we shall soon see...

I'm getting married. Can you fucking believe that shit? Gonna be in a little over a year, summer of 2005. Ahhh, my true love of all time, my J. (This goddamn space pen is running out of ink! FUCKER!!!)

THE ENTRY IMMEDIATELY BELOW ON THE SAME JOURNAL PAGE IS AS FOLLOWS
(unaltered transcript from 8/3/05, 4am)

So much has changed since last time, including me. It's the summer of 2005, and I'm emphatically NOT getting married. Christ.

J nearly died. I walk the line between living in a perpetual cycle of substance abuse and killing myself. I'm on the brink of pushing through this wall of introspection and drastically altering everything.

Bottom line - you're adapting to your environment instead of leading the charge.

You're not happy.

Yeah, so there were some dark periods of my life, yeah? I'm going to get some of this raw material posted, maybe get some feedback, and then start adding it into the longer narrative I have been working on. And yes, the second entry is literal...my then-ladylove could have died in the hospital int he time between these two posts and very nearly did, and I spent the next couple years selling and doing enough drugs to kill a mule - a large, HEAVYSET mule - as self-imposed penance.

I'm feeling ever so much better now, though, thanks for asking!